For Adult Reader.
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| Runs Girl University Logo |
This should not be seen as a tacit approval of such societal behavior or practice but as an informed educational entertainment. Run girls or Olosho are mostly young ladies who engage in sexual relations with men in exchange for money. It is an eye opener for the innocents and the “gullibles” to the methodology of Runs Girl.
HOW TO BE A RUNS GIRL 101.
You learn how to develop multiple personalities to suit each individual you meet. You learn how to speak, how to write, how to be discreet a times, how to be open a times.
There is an institute married women need to go to learn small sense. But nobody built that school yet, everybody in the world is still waiting for chizzy to do it.
LMAO.
When I build that university all these women that rant up and down will not even graduate.
They will keep having extra years. You see, runs girls and sugar babies already have their own institution. The runs industry is not beans, to be a runs girl is a lot of work o.
100 LEVEL - Welcome baby girl. This is the point where you decide and understand that you have to throw some of your pre-existing morals away. e. g. you can't do anal? Darling, you're on a Yacht in Ibiza and you didn't come here to count clouds. Do you want to go back with N12,500 or $15,000? Example 2, "you can't sleep with a man the first day you meet him."
Nkem, you know why you came here. You know what you came to do. He has 2 meetings and a political rally in the morning before he flies out at night to the UK where another girl is waiting for him.
Babe, do your own now and collect money or hold your peace forever. 100-level is tough. All the courses are more of psychology. You learn how to develop multiple personalities to suit each individual you meet. You learn how to speak, how to write, how to be discreet a times, how to be open a times. How to establish eye contact in a crowded room...If you can pass 100level you can actually excel in the profession.
200 LEVEL - This is where you have to drop those old friends. This is the decision stage. Trust me it's tough. It's at this level that you bleach. You might want to take it easy and not bleach totally because Bleaching is a continuous process and if you're dark skinned, and want to keep your complexion fine. But you have to excel in your darkness, exfoliate and work on your skin. You step up makeup brands here, learn how to draw your brows, step up your wardrobe game "classy" is always the best. Thrashy will attract "30k" men. Nobody even wants Naira.
Rolling with party girls or guys (consider Bobrisky) is important. How do you get invites to that book launch if you do not have the friends that can invite you? You need invites and all of them to places where you ordinarily would not be invited to, so you need to be with people that can help your destiny. This level costs money. You will buy Asoebis for 70k even when your account balance is shaking at this level.
Innocent boyfriends unknowingly sponsor this level with their bank salary. I forgot the hair. chai. This level you will start buying hair that your mother never bought. Do not forget that just like your regular university, some people would keep carrying over courses. That is why in real life, an actual runs girl would be seen with tacky hair or ratchet clothes or the inability to spell correctly or keep secrets. Don't blame her. She struggled with those courses in 100 and 200 level and she never passed it. Just escaped with an E.
You can't be seasoned without spice. So by now, you know you're not stupid enough to display all your concoctions on your dresser in your room.
300 LEVEL - By the time you get here you have already formed a runs personality. You are starting to dress like them, act like them, attend their parties and you even look like them (how did the Bleaching go?). Work on those knuckles baby!
At this level, you learn how to be relevant. How to "matter" because seriously my dear if after all your packaging you are empty inside daddy would sleep with you but still give you 50k and you will be wondering why. This is why.
In 300 - level you learn that your vagina is sweet, but baby, all other vaginas are sweet. So how can it be sweeter? This is where you do your "findings" it's like an "IT" stage. You have to seek that which will help embellish you more.
Many fake prophets go chop your money at this stage but sorry it's part of the game.
Try Kaya Mata, try Mama dolphin, try the Alpha in Kaduna, try the Alhaji in Yanya market, try some pastors, try some prophets, you might bath in some streams and may even use a foul smelling vagina wash. LMAO.
It’s part of the game. You can't be seasoned without spice. So by now, you know you're not stupid enough to display all your concoctions on your dresser in your room. A carpenter might have to build you some box where you keep these precious things or a welder. Either way, make sure you keep out of reach of children!
The second part of 300-level is to the point where you get a PIMP. Even if you attend Dangote's personal birthday party but you don't have anybody to introduce you, you're wasting your time.
Somebody has to help connect the dots and recommend you. Somebody has to HELP you and give you the direct connect. Have you not heard that people pay money to "buy" phone number?
Whatever you do, don't fail this course you cannot do it on your own. *singing* "my helper ohhhh. my helper.. my helper ohhh"🎶🎵📯
400-LEVEL - You cannot be jobless. It is not possible laiye laiye! Don't you know that ASHEWO NO BE WORK? Calm down, Jare. At this stage, you learn how to develop yourself. Look for your passion and invest in it. After Daddy sleeps with you, don't make him feel he is paying you for sex you know he does not do "prostitutes". He must be investing in you! Your brand. So what is your brand? What do you do? If you don't have any create one.
Also learn the names of choice wines, exotic food, holiday destinations, how to use cutlery, what each glass represents. Learn current affairs past and present.
I'll list some professions that your predecessors did/are doing you can pick any of them.
Hair business, clothing line, RTW Couture clothing line, just shoes and bags, beauty parlour, perfumes, interior decoration (this is good o! Because Daddy finally has a reason to invite you home without Mummy suspecting), Makeup, events planning, Talent Manager, brand influencer etc. Please feel free to add to this list o.
I am a Fabric consultant and a personal shopper. Ogbeni shift! In 400-level, you're no longer acting like you used to because you know better! Another thing you must learn here is your location. My dear your location is important.
Just as you're rebranding, you should also relocate or just have an apartment in places that these people you want can easily remember or visit. Move around before you choose a place to settle though. You have to be 15 minutes away from a 4/5 star hotel. You have to be 10 minutes away from a 5-star restaurant. Be available.
You don't want to say "I'm coming, I'm on my way" and then you spend the next 2 hours saying you're in traffic in Oshodi. Babe!!! How did you get to Oshodi? If you are in Lagos, get a place in Ikoyi. Shut Up, why are you shouting? I know it's expensive and you have not graduated but at least get a friend or family member that can spare you a room when you need to be around.
I didn't say Lekki because it's over crowded with people like you. The hustle is too much at that axis and everybody has done everybody. Ikoyi is old money and new money coexisting peacefully and Ikoyi will gain you respect. But you're free to consider other options.
The second part of 400-level is the part where you learn not to be frugal. Spend money on yourself, dear. Go to pubs alone and enjoy a drink. Learn how to do it. Also learn the names of choice wines, exotic food, holiday destinations, how to use cutlery, what each glass represents. Learn current affairs past and present. If you do not have an international passport please it's time to get one. Hotels are important you must know the names of the best ones in major cities without making it obvious that you know. Learn how to order for Uber, buy things online and book a flight in minutes. Open an account in many banks because my love, you might meet the CEO of bank XYZ and he will not transfer money to you if you're using bank ABC.
Pick a perfume and stick to it. Don’t confuse these people with different smells. Have a brand you patronize. Learn to be quiet and outspoken when necessary. Do not touch his phone when he is sleeping. Don't mention Mummy in any conversation unless he does. His wife is off limits. Also, create your own grass to Grace pity story. Let it be believable and constant. You want him to Love and pity you at the same time. It makes him feel strong. Do not fall in Love or get pregnant. Have a gynecologist on speed dial. Do not get an STD.
Finally, it's time for your project!
With all the things you learned from year 1 to year 2, put them into practice and try to hook a DADDY. Get him to pay for a trip for you and get you a car. Some babies have been writing projects for 3 years. They still haven't gotten more than 100k. My dear try another university. Some people dropped out in year 1. Some got married along the line or pregnant sef. This school is harder and tougher than yours. It's a dog eat dog society out there. As for me, I couldn't even gain admission into it. I wish you luck.
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